goodbye january;

i can't believe one month went by just like that *snaps fingers but failing badly cause it didn't produce any sound* my goodness. i think 2011 is gonna fly by just like 2010. i could still remember that exactly one year ago, i was still working at Boulevard and quite clueless about the future. well, i'm still clueless now but at least i've landed myself in a place i never would have imagined being.

honestly, if you were to ask me what did i do this whole month; i doubt that i can actually give you an exact answer. why? because i seriously have no idea. i only remember watching tv and slacking around the house. lol sad but true. i did do some other stuffs like becoming my mummy's driver and uhhhh, i don't remember! omg this is a bad sign. i really don't remember doing anything else this whole month! am i starting to lose my memory or is the above really the ONLY TWO things that i did this month? :O i need help!

can you forgive and forget?

Forgive and forget. That’s what they say. It’s good advice, but it’s not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled; old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for, is that one day we’ll be lucky enough to forget.

- Meredith Grey (Greys Anatomy)

deadly.

Don’t ever use someone’s past against them. You’re just reminding them of the mistakes they made back then. If you watch their facial expression carefully, then you’ll see the hurt in their eyes as they reminisce everything that happened. Never use emotion as a weapon, it strikes deeper than you can imagine.

gay parents

i find this picture adorable. do you think so too? i know many people are against same sex marriage and as a Christian, Catholic to be exact, i grew up learning that homosexuals are against the law. not that i'm agreeing on same sex marriage cause i still think that it's wrong but seeing how two grown up men are able to take the responsibility to raise a baby/child is really touching. somehow to me, guys have always been the immature and no feelings type. especially for guys my age. they just give me the feeling that they're minds are like mere 13 year olds and they never know how to think or make decisions. sometimes when i'm bored, i'll look around me and observe the way men do whatever it is they're doing and i think to myself "are all men the same? when will they start to be more mature? what exactly is going in their minds". i'd even switch on the television and observe the actors and all the other men behind the screen and think the same as well. but for all i know, people tend to become mature sooner or later. it's just that the time they learn to grow up varies. and if there is a chance, i'd definitely love to know what it's like to be in a family where you have two dads and i wanna see how the child is being raised. btw, i don't think i'd be so interested in lesbian parents because well, girls always do things together. even if it's a normal straight marriage, mothers love calling their girlfriends and talk or get help. which in fact differs from guys. that's why i'm curious. :P

Jay Chou in Malaysia

JAY CHOU IS COMING TO MALAYSIA ON 4TH & 5TH MARCH 2011!

i wanna go to his concert! but problem is, i can't. wanna know why? below are a few reasons why i cannot attend the concert. T_T

1. class start already

2. no $$

3. the front seat tickets are very expensive

4. nobody go with me

5. i'll need to have a place to stay and everything

6. again, no $$

this is sooooooo sad. i mean, the last time Jay was here was like three years ago? i mean, here for a concert that is. and two years ago, he came with Lin Chi Ling to promote his movie but i was on a holiday KK instead of KL. wtf really no fate man. D: very very depressed at the moment. omigah. i think i'll be sitting at the corner of my bed listening to his songs and cry like a baby. if only miracles do happen overnight. i want an all paid expenses trip to KL to watch him on both nights. i wanna take pictures with him. i wanna talk to him. i wanna marry him! wtf *think too much :(

chances

chances. when things happen too often, we tend to overlook them.. until they’re gone. that’s when we notice them, that’s when we need them. we never realize their importance until they’re no longer avalible to our advantage. just like chances. we take chances for granted, always thinking there’ll be a next time.. but have you ever noticed that tomorrow is never promised today ?
and isn’t it so strange how our hearts, in times of pain, give power and forgiveness to undeserving minds? so that they have the advantage to twist and bend our vulnerable selves. we take advantage of the most sincere things we call chances. a chance to better things, a chance to ease the struggle, a chance to fix something left undone.. chances are basically a mixture of faith, hope, and trust. faith that things could get better.. hope that the person will accept it.. and trust that you’re both in it together and that the person won’t twist and bend your heart yet again.
chances.. sometimes we see right past them don’t we? just to catch a glimpse into a mirror. but have you ever noticed that a missed chance can hurt two people? don’t just think about yourself, chances are two sided. you should be thankful if you receive one. don’t take it for advantage cos one day, when you really need one, they’ll won’t be avalible for you. take it while it’s there. they don’t last forever, but then again, nothing really does…

that remorse feeling.

Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn’t just death we have to grieve. It’s life. It’s loss. It’s change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That’s how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can’t breathe, that’s how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won’t feel this way. It won’t hurt this much.

Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can’t control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you’re past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away.

There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five:
Denial.
Anger.
Bargaining.
Depression.
Acceptance.

- Grey’s Anatomy

move along.

Only time will determine when and how you’re going to move on. Sure, it might not be right away like you want it to be, but eventually one day you’ll wake up and realize that somewhere along the way, that piercing feeling you’ve always felt inside your chest faded and went away while you were too busy living life to notice.

a very interesting conversation

Dear All,

Some things cannot be explained even by science.

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his class on the problem Science has
with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his new Christian students to stand and . . .

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, you Believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD Good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor : You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella.
Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from ?
Student : From . . . GOD . . .
Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?
All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who Created them ?

(Student ha d no answer)

Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD , Tasted your GOD , Smelt your GOD ? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn't..

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,
a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold.
Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something
You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light. But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.
Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor,
Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?
Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
(The Class was in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain?

(The Class broke out into Laughter )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . .
No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that You have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly !
The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.
That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

I believe you have enjoyed the Conversation and if so, you'll probably want your Friends / Colleagues to enjoy the same won't you?

Forward them to Increase their Knowledge or FAITH.
That student was Albert Einstein.

-------------------------------------------------------------

i think this is a notable and meaningful conversation. received this email long before i had a blog and i only saw this when i was going through my inbox. there are some more others which i will be sharing when i have the time to check my email and stuff again. btw, was the student really Albert Einstein? lol

happy birthday jay :)

this man in the picture above turns 32 today. yeapp, it's the one and only Jay Chou 周杰论, Asia's heavenly king. don't you think he's just so awesome? i know for a fact that lots and lots of people dislike him. i don't know whether it's his songs, or the way he talks or just his face, people just don't like him. and that's really really sad. i mean, i am quite a huge fan of his, and i like him a lot. his slow songs are superb. actually, from what i've researched, Jay is actually a very filial, kind, stubborn and kinda traditional type of person. i like how he loves and respects his mum and grandma. he'd do anything for them, i remember reading and article which Jay mentioned that his future wife has to be able to live with his mum. lol so that means that he's never gonna move away from his mummy. awwww. and also there was this time when he wanted to open a guitar store but when his mum said no, he just listens to her. oh and one thing, i remember few years back, there was this girl who got into a comma and didn't wake up for idk how long, she was a hugeass fan of Jay and when he knew about it, he went to the hospital to visit her occasionally. the girl's mum played Jay's song in the hospital everyday and one day her eyes flickered when listening to his songs. when she woke up, Jay went to visit her again and after that, i'm not sure what happened. XD but my point is that Jay is one great person and i love him very much. people should stop criticizing him already. especially the paparazzi who calls every girl seen with him as his rumored girlfriend. sad sad. uhh, anyways, the movie he acted in, The Green Hornet, together with Seth Rogan nd Cameron Diaz was officially released in the States four days ago. it'll be out here in Malaysia next Thursday and i can't wait to watch it. went on Youtube this morning to check out some of his interviews and all i can say is that he sounds impressively cute when speaking english. you'll know what i mean when you see him in the movie ;)

so yeah, happy birthday jay! i love you! ♥

contentment

Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy. Maybe it’s this expectation thought of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to states of bliss, the more confused we get - to the point where we don’t recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling - trying to be the happy people we wish we were. Until it eventually hits us, it’s been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar.

- Grey’s Anatomy

a 13th zodiac sign?

i remember reading this tweet on twitter about a new zodiac sign, Ophiuchus a few days ago. so i went to google up the new zodiac sign list and i couldn't find it anywhere. then just now a friend of mine posted up a status with the new zodiac sign list and guess what? MY HOROSCOPE CHANGED. WTF? SO NOT FUN LAH WEI. I DON'T WANT IT TO CHANGE! :( although i don't really believe in these things but this sudden change isn't nice at all. oh gosh. what do you guys think about the new zodiac thingy? like it or not?

the old horoscope

Capricorn : December 23 - January 20
Aquarius : January 21 - February 19
Pisces : February 20- March 20
Aries : March 21 - April 20
Taurus : April 21 - May 21
Gemini : May 22 - June 21
Cancer : June 22 - July 22
Leo : July 23 -August 21
Virgo : August 22 - September 23
Libra : September 24 - October 23
Scorpio : October 24 - November 22
Sagittarius : November 23 - December 22

the new horoscope

Capricorn : Jan 20 - Feb 16
Aquarius : Feb 16 - March 11
Pisces : March 11 - April 18
Aries : April 18 - May 13
Taurus : May 13 - June 21
Gemini : June 21 - July 20
Cancer : July 20 - Aug 10
Leo : Aug10 - Sept 16
Virgo : Sept 16 - Oct 30
Libra : Oct 30 - Nov 23
Scorpio : Nov 23 - Nov 29
Ophiuchus : Nov 29 - Dec 17(The 13th Zodiac)
Sagittarius : Dec 17 - Jan 20

:(

the green hornet

this movie's out today! in the states. it'll be our in malaysia on the 27th. which is like two weeks from now. -_____________-" why is it that movies are released at different times in different countries? but at least it's not out during chinese new year. or else i wouldn't even have time to watch this movie. anyways, this is the first time jay has acted in an american movie and i'm so proud of him. :D from online news articles, it can be seen that he has been working really really hard for his role. he's even been learning english. i've watched the trailer and all i can say is the movie's gonna be good. and did i mention that jay is sooooo cute? XD here's the trailer below :)

don't you think so?

learn as much as you can.

Think, read, study diligently day by day, and the severest tests of knowledge shall find you prepared and confident. Do not lose sleep over the prospect of examinations, or fret above the printed page until you cannot read its lessons clear. Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master yo. Let them teach you patience, sweetness and insight.

- Helen Keller

feeling so.

I’ve learned that no matter what happen, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

be thankful.

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary, because it means you’ve made a difference.

It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

11.1.11

What's the best thing that happened to you in 2010?

went to my formspring and saw the above question at the "question of the day" column and i've decided to post my answer here instead.

actually, there are so many things that have happened in 2010 which i'll never forget. each and every one of those moments mean a lot to me. besides, there were a few "first times" in doing some of those things too. here's a list of things i did for the first time in my eighteen years of life in the year 2010:

1. i turned eighteen, obviously.

2. i got my first job on 8th january 2010

3. i entered university

4. i had an ang moh lecturer ♥

5. got quite close with a few lecturers of mine

6. actually sad when i missed class (fyi, i was always glad to skip class in high school XD)

7. slept over at a friends house which eventually turned out to us not sleeping the whole night

8. went out until past 2am

9. went karaoke with friends

10. stayed in campus until very late for the sake of just staying there with my friends (sometimes it's on fridays, the day that i do not have class)

lol there are actually another few more things but somehow, i just can't remember what they are. wtf i think i'm really getting old. but anyways, the above ten things are some of the things i did for the very first time. and to be honest, all those moments were the best things that's happened last year. although there were sad times too. and well, i'm really hoping that this year is gonna turn out better than last year. *fingers crossed

twenty ten

I confess that in 2010, I have...

(x) stayed single for the whole year
( ) made out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
( ) celebrated Halloween
( ) kissed in the rain
(x) had your heart broken
(x) broke someone else’s heart
(xxx) had a stalker
( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone
(x) had a good relationship with someone
(x) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
( ) have a relationship with someone you’ll never forget
(x) done something you’ve regretted
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under a mistletoe

OTHER
(x) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
(x) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
(x) posted a blog
(x) listened to music you couldn’t stand
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went camping
(x) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) visited a foreign country
(x) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren’t
( ) partied to celebrate the new year
(x) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something/someone important to you

In 2010, I…
(x) broke a promise
(x) lied
( ) went behind your parents back
(x - but it's not about breakups or relationships) cried over a broken heart
(x) disappointed someone close
(x) hid a secret
(x) pretended to be happy
( ) slept under the stars
( ) kept your new years resolution
(x) forgot your new years resolution
(x) met someone who changed your life
( ) met one of your idols
(x) changed your outlook on life
(x) sat home all day doing nothing
(x) pretended to be sick
(x) left the country
(x) almost died
(x) given up something important to you
(x) lost something expensive
(x) learned something new about yourself
(x) tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
(x) made a change in your life
(x) found out who your true friends were
(x) met great people
(x) stayed up till sunrise
(x) cried over the silliest thing
( ) was never home on weekends
( ) got into a car accident
(x) had friends who were drifting away from you
(x) had someone close to you die
(x) had a high cell phone bill
(x) spent most of your money on food
( ) had a fist fight
(x) went to the beach with your best friend
(x - his sister LOL) saw a celebrity
(x) gotten sick
( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time
(x) became closer with a lot of people

high school drama

High school sucks. There are backstabbers & two faces, & practically no one's real. No one knows the real you because you're afraid once they do, they're gonna hurt you. You're usually right. People change in a snap, going from your best friend to a bitch and hurting you. Everyone changes, usually for the worst. Everyone gets hurt, and everyone hurts someone even without meaning it or knowing it, it happens. It's like a war, unfortunately not everyone makes it out alive, but no one makes it out without a scar and a story.

it's swarovski baby :O

hey, it's 8th january and i just realized that exactly one year ago, i started my very first job as a promoter. i remember the first week of work was a living hell. it was friggen hot, i had to stand all day and non of the other promoters there were chinese. i'm not trying to be racist or something but my malay sucks big time. i can only speak chinese. and sad enough, those people working there speak only bahasa sarawak. -___________-" but thank goodness i met Jo somewhere in the first half of the month and i slowly made some friends. in the end, it became the job i shall never ever forget. working at the pesta was one of the best moments of my life. met so many lovely people and snaking around(& still getting a high salary) is awesome :D i guess this job really meant a lot to me. especially cause it was my very first job. i even wrote a post last year on my birthday about the last day of work. i was so emotional and focused on my job that i forgot to blog about me, myself, and i turning eighteen. LOL! here's the post.

anyways, my main purpose of this post(other than the above reason) is about my niece and nephew's birthday party this afternoon. OMG you know, my cousin gave his eight year old daughter a Swarovski necklace that cost like $500 Singapore Dollar and that equals to like more than RM1000 here! wtheck?! the girl's only eight. she doesn't need a 1K necklace, does she? lol and one thing i find, well different about their birthdays is that whenever one of the kids celebrate their birthday, the other siblings receive presents too. i mean like, imagine me and my sister. it's my birthday and the both of us get presents. isn't that like, weird or something? to their parents, it means that they're being fair but idk, i can't imagine them doing that in ten years time. my niece would be eighteen and imagine her twelve year old brother getting a present on her birthday. hahah but i guess every family's different. bahh.

shine a light.

the first week of January 2011 is almost over and what have you done? for me, other than slacking around, being a driver, and sticking to the laptop almost 24/7, i haven't done anything useful yet. oh wait, i think i did. there's this girl who asked me a question in formspring few days ago and she mentioned that she's committed suicide more than five times. but of course it failed, otherwise, who would i be talking to right? anyways, she sounded so miserable and my heart aches to see her in that condition. if only i could, i would definitely fly to wherever she is and give her a bigbigbig hug and tell her everything's alright. *sigh* so i answered her question and added in some quotes which i thought might be useful for her. they were quite meaningful anyways. and yesterday she replied me with a thank you. she'll never know it but that thank you really made my day. she has no idea how worried i was about her. i just hope that she's okay and she won't have to kill herself anymore. oh and the picture above, i'm trying to do that this year. hopefully i can achieve all, if not, at least half of it by the end of the year. wish me luck people. *fingers crossed

china made hair-bands. :\

Beware all GIRLS!

Beware when you are travelling to China , just try to becareful when you are buying hairbands down the road who knows what it is made from??

These Hairbands were made from used condoms and threads. That was so disgusting, I would not want to use them!!





BEIJING (AFP) - Used condoms are being recycled into hair bands in southern China , threatening to spread sexually-transmittable diseases they were originally meant to prevent, state media reported Tuesday

In the latest example of potentially harmful Chinese-made products, rubber hair bands have been found in local markets and beauty salons in Dongguan and Guangzhou cities in southern Guangdong province, China Daily newspaper said.
'These cheap and colourful rubber bands and hair ties sell well ... threatening the health of local people,' it said.
Despite being recycled, the hair bands could still contain bacteria and viruses, it said.
'People could be infected with AIDS, (genital) warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while waving their hair into plaits or buns,' the paper quoted a local dermatologist who gave only his surname, Dong, as saying.
A bag of ten of the recycled bands sells for just 25 fen (three cents), much cheaper than others on the market, accounting for their popularity, the paper said.
A government official was quoted as saying recycling condoms was illegal.
China 's manufacturing industry has been repeatedly tarnished this year by a string of scandals involving shoddy or dangerous goods made for both domestic and foreign markets.
In response, it launched a public relations blitz this summer aimed at playing up efforts to strengthen monitoring systems.

was going through my inbox when i came across this email. seriously, making hair-bands out of used condoms? china oh china. i have nothing more to say. *speechless*

move on

At some point you will realize
that you have done too much
for someone or something,
that the only next possible step to do is to stop.
Leave them alone. Walk away.
It’s not like you’re giving up,
and it’s not like you shouldn’t try.
It’s just that you have to draw the line
of determination from desperation.
What is truly yours would eventually be yours,
and what is not, no matter how hard you try,
will never be.

high school for a day

so i went back to my high school with siew siew today. went to find the principal and luck was with us cause when we walked in, the principal came walking towards our direction. so we went into his office and just as we took our seats, he started to umm, laugh. it was an awkward 5 minutes until we told him we wanted to take our testimonials from him. spent about half an hour in the office listening to him talk and answering questions. lol and you know what, he thought that we were last year's batch. -___________-" well, at least i felt younger. XD and right before we left, he even requested to take pictures with us. i felt like a celebrity, for like 3 seconds? lmao then we shook hands and left the office.

went over to the staff room and saw lots of new teachers. some old ones were still there though. then siew went to find mdm hii, our physics teacher and talked for a little bit. that time, it was already after recess and she had to sit in for the transition class so we decided to follow. when we reached the class, we saw that the kids were cleaning the class so we stood outside until they were done. then siew told us she heard one of the girls in class say in mandarin "hey, there's three teachers outside". rofl did we really look that old? but eh, there are young teachers too right? then we went in and sat at the back of the class. one of the boys said "i know the other two aren't teachers cause they're not wearing nametags" and another one said "one is eating (siew) and another one is busy playing handphone (me). impossible they're teachers" HAHA. now that really made me laugh. the kids were funny. they're like little 13-year-olds playing around. then one of the boys turned around and asked mdm hii "teacher, you got facebook?". wtheck? so young play what facebook? lol then they went over to the teacher since she brought in her laptop and the boys were like "teacher, can you online? you got play facebook or not?" and one of the boys say her wallpaper(it's her two daughters) and ran to his friend and said, "hey, the teacher's laptop got two kids pictures. one even pose like a flower" LOL!

michelle and tracy arrived about 20 minutes later and we left school. went to noodle house to limteh. sitting there and talking really brings back the memories when we were in high school. especially during spm cause that's where we went for lunch most of the times. it's also the place we went to when we skipped assembly sometimes. michelle then said she had class at 1.30pm but we wouldn't let her leave. we kept persuading her to stay so in the end, she stayed with us. the place was also getting hot so we went to dessert master to continue our talk. overall, it was a good day. michelle finally had time for us. since she's always so busy with idk what she is always busy with. and hopefully she'll be able to make it for our next outing. *fingers crossed

tell me the reason why.

i feel that i don't blog enough. especially last year. been so busy with assignments and stuff that i don't have time for blogging. which eventually leads to me being lazy. and that's a very serious case. i regret not blogging at all. regret not sharing all the past memories, the good and bad times of last year on my blog. and i'm not gonna repeat the same mistake again this year. i want all my joys and sadness to be on this blog so when i get older, i can look back on my blog and think to myself, "ahh, the good times. i had lots of awesome memories and it was all worth it" or something like that. so yeah, i wanna keep on blogging. hopefully i don't break off halfway. lol btw, here's a picture of my foundation life last year. frankly speaking, it was one friggen awesome year and i'd never trade it for anything. i will definitely remember that year for the rest of my life. :)

first monday of 2011

went to do facial with my mum at Opi De Beaute in Bintang Megamall this morning. mine was about an hour and a half and it was very relaxing. if i was rich, i think i'd to this like once or twice a month. seriously, my face is really not in a good condition at all and i need this badly. lol you know, there's one facial treatment, i'm not so sure of the name but i think it's 24k gold something something. that one's their most expensive treatment which costs like RM498. i was shocked to hear the price. very expensive wei. i mean, five hundred bucks just for some piece of gold put on your face for 15 minutes? is it worth? apuuuu. if i were rich also i won't do that. normal treatment would be enough already. lmao

anyways, i woke up late today. like wtheck? it's my sister's first day of school and i actually woke up late. wanted to give her a hug and kiss and talk to her for a little bit also no chance. when i woke up it was already 6.30am and she's already off to school. sad much. i'm such a failure. boo me. i suck ;(

oh and did i mention that i'm going back to my high school tomorrow? gonna go find the principal and get my testimonial. hopefully he'll be around since he's such a busy man and he's hardly in campus, oops i mean in school. XD HAHA.

fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

- Maryanne Williamson

going back to school.

school starts today. well, not for me though. it's for all the kindergarten, primary and secondary school people. and guess what? MINE STARTS AT THE END OF FEBRUARY! HAH IN YOUR FACE PEOPLE. XP and well, today's the day where every school kids dread. waking up early, wearing their school uniforms, and reaching school before the bell rings. to be honest, i kinda miss my high school life. the final year that is. cause we're all seniors and it's already our last years in school uniforms. why not have more fun? i did regret not being naughtier back then. should've skipped more classes, hanging outside the classroom more often and of course, going to the opposite bus stop just to buy food from the lady driving the proton saga much much more. ahh, those were the days. it's all in my memory now. but hey, i still have three more years of university. gonna make the most of this three years and make em the best times of my life. :)

twenty eleven.

i can't believe it's already new year. it's actually 2011 right now, right at this very moment. the past one year have been amazing and i'm hoping that this year will be the same, or if it's ever possible, let it be even better than the previous year. i'm sure lots of people are still out celebrating the new year but here i am, sitting on my bed updating my blog. lol anyways, it's a brand new year and i want to start over. i want to leave the past as it is in 2010 and not bring any unhappiness over to this new year. usually i'll be having resolutions but then i thought, what's the use of having them when i don't actually achieve them by the end of the year. maybe i do achieve some, but not all. so i just have one simple resolution which is to move on and concentrate on the present. concentrate on the good life God has been blessing me with. although i still complain about it sometimes. i want to smile more and to be happier. and i really hope i can do that this year. wish me luck *fingers crossed XD

oh and one thing, happy new year y'all :)