Sunday, September 23, 2007


i like this song alot (: well it was founded by me in 2005. i was in my cousin's car when he played this song for his daughter who loved it so much. so like i borrowed the disc and since then ive been liking the song alot. and during the year end holidays, my cousins from ipoh came back to miri and like we always went out with them and our miri cousins and i used to play this song all the time in the car. i listened to it all month long and everytime i hear that song, it reminds me of the times spent with my cousins. haih i feel that as we grow older, we mix more with our friends compared to our families. which is such a sad thing dont you think? hmmm. its not good actually. we should spend more time with our families. we should pei yang our gan qing[s]. i realized that when we're young, we are always with our family members. but as we grow older, we dont spend so much time with them anymore. and when we become adults, we hardly contact each other. and that really is a sad thingy. people, i think wo shouldnt let this kinda things happen bah, RIGHT? aihhh. i think i better stop crapping about this lah.
well, lately ive been so so wanting to go to Kota Kinabalu a.k.a. KK and Kudat. haihs i dont think my parents wanna go lah. i mean my dad's cousin and his big family are like going on a vacation and my mum doesnt wanna bother them. i told her to call them sooner to know when they are leaving so that we can go there earlier but she doesnt want to call. i really really really really really wanna go mann. ive been wanting to go there since my last trip to KK which was in march. cant my parents be more considerate and ring them up? at least know when theyre leaving bah. my mum kept telling me that we can go next year. i wanna go there eat banyak2. the beef thingy. and got the pork thingy too. i wanna taste it. i wanna see my nephew. but im scared he wont be there anymore next year. i havent got a chance to talk to him yet and i really wanna see him again. i think im becoming very cacat. i mean ive been trying to find his profile in friendster for the past four days. babi lah me. i feel so miserable right now =\

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


woke up at 6.19am today. i didnt go to school. too sick to even get up. urghh. i feel so miserable. i didnt even go to tuition last night. my head and stomach hurts so much right now. i wanna sleep but somehow i jst cant. and guess what? it actually felt good to not go to school today. can decrease my stress and i wont have to think so much. like the other day, i was thinking of starting all over. get a new life and moving away and leave everything and good/bad memories behind. its very impossible though. look at how stressed i am. plus, exams coming up in less than two weeks. fcuk it. gahhh !! i cant think properly at all lah. and i thought i could be free after exams, i have to go back to school man. i so do not wanna go back. *big sigh* haihs i think im gonna be even more sick if things dont get better soon. somehow, my life SUCKS to the MAX right at this very moment.

Monday, September 17, 2007

take a look

this is the personality quiz i took.

and this is the IQ test i took.

IQ Test Score

omg. look at my IQ test score. 117 nia ler. not so good. haih im getting all emo-ish again. i dont like it lah. it feels sooo miserable. i want to be the old me. the one who used to smile and laugh all the time without even faking it. damn its hard to do that these days. i havent really been happy at all. well got lah, but ABIT nia. and that abit = nothing. dammit. shiet. fcuk. i cant take it nemore. i really need a break. and crying alot aint helping me much. gahhh !! i'll go take a rest lah. grrrr.

tak tahan lah.

i cant wait for PMR to be over. i wanna go out. go have fun and forget all the bitterness of my life. i cant stand it anymore. i dont wanna cry every single day over stupid stuffs. i know im stubborn and all but cant i stop thinking. maybe the ass was right. i did think too much. aihh. things are jst so hard right now. exams in two weeks and im feeling very lazy&tired these days. how can this be? i need to study ler. cham cham cham cham. I WANT PMR TO BE OVER RIGHT NOW. aargh !! im like so so stressed and fcuked up right now. my life is in such a horrible mess and its falling apart bit by bit. i need to put it back together but seriously, i dont know how ):

Saturday, September 15, 2007


nothing much happened these days actually. so i'll jst briefly blog about thursday yesterday and today. so, on thursday, nth much happened. some pegwai people came and i was chosen to answer some questionnaire thingy about malaysia's 50 years of independence. then in the afternoon, i went out with daddy to look for woofers. yeah, you heard it right. its those thingys you install in your car to make it go boom boom boom when you switch on your stereo. i wonder why he even likes these things. isnt he supposed to listen to those ahpek songs like most og my friend's parents? hmmmm. then at night got tuition as usual. then yesterday, also a normal day. nothing much happened. when evening came, i had to go tuition. then 20 minutes after class started, guess who arrived? none other than mr joel thomas. i havent seen him in like a month and a half. i kinda miss that guy. we were quiet at first. then later we started to talk and talk. and jst like before, he'll be saying those words ever so loudly. like example 'hows your vagina[sumtimes he pronounce as va-gee-na]? or hows your cock? or eh send me that cock. eh what the hell am i saying?' or sumthin like that. hehe that was geography class. then it was time for sejarah. before that, we went to buy some stuffs. tze hun and amelio followed. on the way back, we met the ivan. lols and in class, we jst listened to songs and talk. well i didnt really talk lah. its mostly the ivan and the airasia owner talking. that joel kept playing with my hair and messing it up. someday, im gonna take my revenge for messing it up. but it was fun having him around. then it was today. my cousin came over in the afternoon. only for an hour nia. then daddy went to 'zhuang' the woofer. i couldnt believe he actually bought one. its not those super good ones like alpine. this is jst some ordinary laoya woofer. less than 300 watts de cause its for my mini two-doors suzuki vitara. actually, the whole morning&afternoon was kinda boring. except for tonight. i went to dynasty hotel to have dinner with my family. it was replacement for my sister's birthday as we went to brunei on that particular afternoon. while eating, i saw some dudes/guys there. one of them was thechef there. he looked cute. then came this guy. around my age or younger i guess. he looked cute too. about half an hour later, about four or five ahbengs came in. not so good looking though. hmmmm. theres this dude also. with his girlfriend. she was acting so manja around him. and guess what, that dude's left arm is covered with tattoos. kinda scary. i wonder what would happen if he lost his temper over her manjaness. haha so after dinner, we came back home straight away. so bloated + tired. gonna sleep after this post.

btw, i jst realized sumthin. my definition for guys. its what i thought about jst now. kinda random and its my opinion for now. my mind may change anytime though. so for the momeny, i'll list it here.

CUTE - with/without glasses. black digital watch. not so nice hair&clothes. jst normal tee and jeans with the flat hair. abit like those nerds but way better looking than them. or jst got the face.
HANDSOME - those with the looks. their face nia lah. like even those older ladies say so too.
ENGTAO - got the hair. the clothes too. very in-style. got the looks and some do dance. kinda pan sat too.
HOT - close to perfect. got almost everything wanted by girls.

thats all for today. sorry no pictures. goodnite. and i will update soon. or maybe after exams =\

Thursday, September 13, 2007


damn. i cant sleep lah. well i slept already at 9+pm but i woke up around almost 1.30am. thrs sumthin in my room's ceiling lah. i wanted to hit the ceiling or sumthin but im scared the noise would be louder. aaargh !! i wanna sleeeep. need to go school in two hours and a half le. im like trying to study now but cannot concentrate ler. haihs

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


hmmmm. todays kinda tiring. well, i woke up then got ready and waited for my uncle to send me to school. we left the house late today. around 6.15am like that. mr uncle didnt pick samuel and joanna today. so its only me and nelius lah. hmmm. reached the st co traffic lights at 6.30am and it was raining kinda heavily that time. kinda cold. and guess what, nelius was listening to techno. which is a nice thing esp during early rainy mornings ---> early morning + raining + techno = awesome (: haha it was fun until my uncle go switch to radio. dammit. i hate listening to it. those ladies singing with their extra high-pitched voices. and the songs are like from the 50's and 60's. adehhh.

when we reached the outside of CH, nelius told my uncle to drive into the school as it was still raining. we kinda got stuck outside the school for like 20 minutes. as my uncle wanted to turn into the school, guess who i saw? omg. its that dude. i havent seen him since january i think. and hes like becoming more eng tao than before. he used to be in the same tuition as me last year end. you know, BM class was the most packed one and out of all the guys there, he was the one who looked the nicest. I mean like hes got the hair, the phone, the clothes and the style. gosh. although hes like two years younger, hes still cute. his hair has grown and he wore contacts this time. so much more eng tao. hehehe :P

after that, mr uncle sent me to school and it was a kinda boring day. the only teacher that went into class was mdm ho. and she like jst gave us this piece of paper to do. then *poof* she was gone. until the next peroid then she come back and left the class. the majils anugerah ended at about 10.30am and when miss loy came into class, she told us that we're allowed to go home if we wanted to. so, i went to call daddy, get my stuffs and went outside. waited for more than half an hour then baru he come. we sent cass back home and i terus went to bath and got ready. my cousin and his family tagged along too. it was their idea to go anyways. we were gonna go overseas, outta malaysia. well not exactly overseas but it is outta malaysia. guess where we went? its none other than brunei. we didnt go to bandar though. jst went seria to eat and spent the whole afternoon in kuala belait. actually we're supposed to go bandar to help my other cousin get sumthin. but we were kinda lazy. so didnt go lor.

it was a fun afternoon though it was tiring. five adults and two kids in a ninja king. how squishy is that? it took us like about one hour plus to reach there and another hour plus to come back. so approximately three hours plus was spent in brunei/kuala belait (: we went to buy some stuffs and went to makan japanese food. one of my favorite dishes. damn was it nice. ordered raw salmon. yummm~

thats about all thats happened today. will blog again soon. and jst a reminder that in this blog, i'll try my best to not write about those depressing stuffs that happen to me every single day of my life.

btw, today is my beloved sister vallamy's birthday. HAPPY 6TH BIRTDAY SIS !! iloveyou (:

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

september 11th

well, today is the 6th anniversary of the terrorist attack. its a very sad day for the people in america esp those in NY. i wonder why these thingys happen. why do people want to fight. whats so good about war anways. cant we all jst live in peace.

its jst so sad to see these kinda things happening in this world huh. and AHEM all those that calls me CNN. esp CASS and DEXTER[who wrote that in his blog]. lame lah you guys. i know i know lotsa stuffs lah. but i get them from other people. and you all are lucky to have me telling you those stuffs. without me, how do you guys update yourselves? lol

and today at school was kinda boring and very hot ler. the fan&lights were like on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off again. babi bah the electricity. what the heck is wrong with it. sooo annoying. the electricity had been like that for like a week or so liao. and haihs PMR in less than three weeks. im like still very very lazy ler. noooo~

Sunday, September 2, 2007

am i too late?

trials on tuesday. i havent been studying at all. what the heck is wrong with me. you know, i try not to write about depressing stuffs here but this time, its an exception. i really cant stand it anymore. PMR in 29 more days. dammit lah. im trying to do sejarah now but its like sooo UNinteresting. everytime i look at my book, i tend to feel either tired or my headaches start to come. and one more VERY important thingy is that i cannot lah. well abit2 like that can lah. but not 100% ):
i want good results. i want to make my parents proud. i want to show my aunts that although im the laziest person you all have ever known, i can ace my exams. i dont want to fail in this exam. i dont want to let my parents down. i dont want my dad to think that i can never do good in my exams. i dont want my mum to feel so sick and tired of me for being this lazy pig who does nothing but complain, never helping her, talks loudly and loosing my temper every single time. *sighs* what the heck can i do? im like struggling to do last-minute studying right now and starting tmrw, i'll try not to online until after PMR. its only 29 days. its not like i would die without the computer right? i need to start being rajin and less lazy.
you know, people who wants to strive for staight A's all do their preparations like starting in Form 1. well, look at me. until now, even when my 2nd trials is in two days, im still ever so selamba and still online here online there, music here music there, sms here sms there. and also, SLEEPING when i should be studying.
and to anyone who reads this, please please please pray for me. i really need it right now. and hopefully its not too late for me to study. my very smart cousin told me that he also did last minute studying. like pia-ing two weeks before the actual exams. hope i can do that too but two weeks earlier lah. and like one problem is that he is very smart and i am NOT.

*im still very pissed. well pissed at almost everything/one*