Friday, April 24, 2009

i dont know anymore.

im really tired.
tired of all the pressures around me.
noone understands, and they never will.
sometimes i wonder how long will my life
continue to be this way.
its been three years and ive had enough of it all.
i want everything to go back to normal.
back to the way its supposed to be.
or at least speed up the time until end of the year.
maybe by then i'll be much happier.
unlike now, lost and miserable.
i can feel tears filling my eyes now
i want to escape from this torture so much
but i this is life right?
i still have to move forward like nth ever happened.
*SIGH* but life is really too hard for me to handle.
i seriously want my old life back.
i want to wake up everyday
with that anticipation to face a brand new day,
not waking up every morning
having to put on a fake smile to go through the day.

im never good at putting my feelings into words.
maybe thats why i never tell anyone about them?
its always kept in my heart and i have to bear it all myself.
but i cant talk to anybody also,
doubt they'll understand anyways.
if only i could runaway to a faraway place
or better yet, jst disappear.
maybe, things will be better this way.

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