Saturday, August 7, 2010

I collapsed in the middle of my room and cried. For life. For love. For loss. For change. For moving on. For all the big and little things that we cannot control. For all the choices we make and all the people we hurt. For you, for me. For this. For that.

I have never felt so lost in my entire life. And I needed you. In that moment, that single instance, I needed you. I needed you bad. To talk to, to confide in, to listen, to understand. For God’s sake, I needed you. And then I remembered that you gave up. That I can no longer rely on you. That I can no longer trust you to be there for me. You said you cared, then abandoned me. You left me here to fend for myself. You gave up.

How dare you.

You gave up. You gave up. You gave up.

How could you do that? To me? To yourself? You’re better than that. I thought you were better than that. Maybe I was wrong.

Don’t you see? My life is about to change drastically and you’re not here. I need you. I need you right now. And you’re not here. What the hell kind of friend are you?

I hope you read this. I hope you look at this page and read this. Because I don’t know how much more I can take.

I’m sad, I’m angry, I’m hurt, I’m scared. But most of all, I’m tired.

I’m tired of being brave.

Copyrighted; Molly.
*This is part of her post and I copied it because this is exactly how I feel, exactly what I wanted to say but somehow, I couldn't get the words out.

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