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can you hear the sound of my heart breaking?

i should be moving on, not sitting here and cry about the past and what it did to me. to be honest, his presence and absence has made a huge impact in my life. no, the "he" that i'm referring to is not my boyfriend, and neither is he my ex. he was just a really close friend of mine. we were like inseparable. well, we were physically about 4900 miles apart but never failed to talk everyday. he would always be there for me, to comfort me, to make me laugh, or just keeping me company. something that i can admit, not one of my friends from before until now could ever do. and i guess that's why he was really important to me. but one particular day two years ago, everything changed. he walked out and moved on; i stayed back and held on. i couldn't bare to let go, even until now. somehow some part of me is still holding on, and i don't know why. but there were so many occasions that led me to believe that most, if not, all the things that he said before were all lies. the long talks, his story, the promises. nothing was real. but as sad as i am, i should just forget about everything. it's really hard for me, i mean two and a half years. it's not easy but these things take time right? :\

:)

ive been running out of things to blog about. as you can see, i hardly blog about my life because to be honest, there isn't much for me to say. so i'll stick to blogging about interesting stuffs i find on the internet or some news or an email i received which i think is worth sharing. so yeah, this is gonna be another one of thsoe forwarded email post. are you ready for it?

How To Get Through Life

1) Sleep as much as you can

2) Read books that you enjoy

3) Play with simple things

4) Do whatever you want, whenever you want

5) Look for affection when you need it

6) Get serious once in a while

7) Forget about diets

8) Show some affection

9) Get angry once in a while

10) Change your looks

And above all, be happy. Regardless of what your challenges may be, have a great life!

May your troubles be less, your blessings more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door.

Life is too short to to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

the calling - wherever you will go

so the other day i was in the car with my family when i heard the radio playing Wherever You Will Go by The Calling. the last time i heard that song was like a gazillion years ago. kinda really missed it so much. listening to the song brought back memories of when i was still in primary school. if i'm not mistaken, around primary four i think. or five. that time, the song was really famous, you can hear it everywhere. and the lead singer's got a nice deep voice. lol below is the video in case you forgot how the song goes. :D

happy birthday christianne;

birthday girl in the picture above

remember how we met 4 years ago? time passes really fast huh? that time, you were in Form 3, me in Form 2. and now, 4 years later we're in University already. what's more, we're in the same Uni (but we hardly ever meet =.=). LOL but it doesn't matter. we still "see" each other in Plurk, well sometimes. just closing my eyes when writing this post, i can see the both of us in sunday school. i still remembered the first time we spoke to each other, that time your hair was tied in a ponytail and you passed me CH's school mag cause i wanted to find Wei Liang's gf. i also remembered how we used to always sms then halfway through, its either you told me you had to pass the phone to your brother or he suddenly replies saying you left. lol then it was LSS camp, we were in the same team. after that, you came into my class for sunday school and Uncle John (Mama Mary :P) was okay with that. oh oh and remember when we attended Fr Stan's youth rally twice, and also went for the joggerthon thingy? and also the thingy2 where we were waitresses with you bro? (Mr Pie! LOL) ahhh, all the good times. wait, do you remember all these things? you know what, you don't have to answer cause i know that 80% you don't. right? HAHAHA. typical you :D but still, its your big day today. hope you have a blast and all the best in life. you're already 19 now, old enough to be a mother le. so you better be more matured alright? be wiser and spend less, a good advice for you to get through your final teenage years. well, i suppose that's a not bad advice right? lol anyways, i wanna tell you that no matter how little we talk and if we do not see each other very often, i still cherish our friendship and i believe it's fate that brought us together. i mean, remember the friendster comment? (you're ___'s cousin? XD) hope our friendship will be like the ocean, you will never ever see it dry up. and once again, happy birthday melo :)



p/s: remember this picture? ;)

little actions that matter;

i have received this same email numerous times and all the times that i've read it, i was touched. touched by the lady's kindness and willingness to accept people as they are, touched by her courage to talk to the man, and most of all, touched by God who is ever so good to love each and every one of us, no matter how we look and where we stand in the society.



Breakfast at McDonald's


I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.
The last class I had to take was Sociology.
The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.
Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.'
The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.
I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.
Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning.
It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.
We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.
I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.
As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.
As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'
His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.
He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching..
The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend.. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.
I held my tears as I stood there with them.
The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted..
He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).
Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.
That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.
I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.
I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand..
He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'
I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.'
I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope..'
We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.
We are not church goers, but we are believers.
That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.
I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.
I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it.
Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?'
I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.
She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.
In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son,the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.
I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to

LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

fake eggs.

received an email from my mum about a month ago about fake eggs being sold in the market. as usual, when i come across the word "fake", the first thing i'll think about is China. no offense but its very true ain't it? i'm sure most of you would think the same too when seeing the word fake, right? so the email i received, it only showed pictures of how these eggs are made. so be careful when you shop for eggs. you wouldn't wanna end up eating fake ones. gosh, i wonder why people would do such a thing. i mean, chickens are not gonna be extinct any time soon right? D: and i'm very sure the side effects from eating these processed food won't be pretty. :\

a real man

Every girl needs a man; not necessarily the hottest one, but the one that's clumsy and crazy and always makes you smile even with tears in your eyes. The kind that will treat you right as well as others; the kind that has enough respect for himself, family, and others; the one that will change for you to just be with you. The kind that searches for you with his heart, the kind that can be trusted alone with a room full of many other beautiful ladies, the kind that won’t cheat on you cause he knows he’s got all he wants and needs already, the kind that’s willing to be your friend and lover, the kind that doesn’t mind calling early in the morning to say good morning and late at night to say good night; maybe even sing you a good morning and tell you a good night story or talk to you until you fall asleep. That kind that will do anything for you, even if it’s just to buy your favorite kind of candy. The kind that will defend and fight for you, the kind that won’t ditch you for his friends when you need him the most, the kind that won’t leave you lonely and wondering. The kind that isn’t afraid to smile to his friends every time you’re around and tell them, “She’s the one.” The kind of guy that is so proud to be yours. The kind that has an amazing family that you feel at home with. You know, the kind of guy that is your best friend, but the only person you could ever see yourself with at the same time. The kind that would love you for everything that you are, for real, not just say it like everyone else always does. The kind that appreciates you for the things to do for him, even if they’re small gestures. The kind that actually thanks you for the little love notes you leave him, the kind that is willing to wait for you when you’re falling behind, the kind that will actually open the door for you, take you out on dates once in a while and buy you flowers cause it’s a Wednesday. The kind that notices your hair when you just got it cut or done beautifully for him, the kind that reminds you that he loves you and that he’s happy with you in case you forget. The kind that kisses your forehead when you’re down, the kid that tells you to be strong and not to cry, the kind that will go through think and thin with, and for you, the kind that just loves you for who you are. That kind of man, that’s the kind you keep.

- runawaytrain/s-isforserena/ninetyninestepstoforever :)

FIFA World Cup 2010

the FIFA World Cup 2010 is officially over. sad much. kinda regret not watching every single one of the matches. out of all 64 matches, i think i only watched like 5 full matches and the rest i just watched the replays or highlights only. well, regret also no use cause the next time i'll be watching it is 4 years later. so yeah, one month of football, ended just like that. pretty fast huh? and i haven't even finished enjoying droolingwatching the guys kicking it. a little too bad that the World Cup started about a week and a half before my finals. if not, i would've spent more time watching it. :(

i remember four years ago it was during camp that FIFA was going on and we were staying at Curtin Villa that time. i still remember the guys going nuts over Germany. yeaaaah, all i heard was Germany here, Germany there, Germany this Germany that. so all this while in my mind, when people talk about FIFA, the first thing that came to my mind was of course Germany. and i assumed that Germany was a strong team. guess what? i wasn't wrong. Germany was a strong team and it still is.

honestly, i haven't really been serious about watching FIFA until that very match between Germany and England. OH EM GEE! two strong countries going against each other? well, i like both teams but of course i supported England more. main reason is cause Beckham is there. *giggles* but then, Beckham was not kicking this year due to some injury. yes, its a very sad case but what can we do right? just hope that i'll be seeing him again four years later in his football tee. :D so okay, that night i sat on the couch and watched the entire match. everything was okay at first until Lampard was going to shoot and GOAAAAAAL *crowd screams* uh oh! *jeng jeng jeng* GOAL DENIED! wtf?! like hello, the ball went pass the line you blind referees. it just bounced out again and the goalkeeper caught it. BUT IT WENT PAST THE FRIGGIN LINE. DID YOU NOT SEE THAT? ughhh! my gosh, and after that lots of ngiao ji Germany supporters started to appear especially in facebook. wth? so ngiao ji for what? =.= and then i started to dulan Germany and their lansi supporters. and every game after that involved Germany, i was hoping the opposing teams would win. but sadly, one match after another, Germany kept winning. until last week, when it was going against Spain. at the 73rd minute, Puyol scored! wooooooo ~ i was soooo happy i was literally screaming and jumping in the living room. thank goodness noone heard me.

anyways, Spain won and were moving to the finals. NOT Germany. i was happy. then on the day of the Final match, which was like 9 hours ago, it was Spain against Netherlands. another team that i kinda disliked. why? cause they thrashed Brazil in the quarterfinals. soooo sad. so i was secretly hoping Spain would win when i told people i wasn't gonna support any team. but aihh, the results were out, and it's impossible for me to not have any reaction towards the match right? so yeah, GO GO GO ESPANA! :DD i was finally satisfied. i mean, first they thrashed Germany in the semi-finals and then Netherlands in the finals. i was indeed very glad. and yes, i was screaming and jumping again in the living room and nobody heard me. i think XD

and now its finally over. no more FIFA until the next four years im not really a fan of football but it was all worth watching. i got excited, disappointed, nervous, and dulan throughout the FIFA season. and i also gained some benefits from watching this football. wanna know what it is? well, its obviously that i get to drool over so many hot guys. XD those footballers are omfgly drool-able. i mean some of them. there are lots of cute ones but my three favorite ones Kaka, Beckham and Gerrard. OMG hot hot hot *drools* BUT sad enough, all three of them are married. D: sad daooooooo. why are most of footballers married? whyyyyy? not only them, Villa and Torres are also married, and Ozil is engaged. no need to say the footballers that i like lah hor. even footballers like 21-year-old Muller got married last year. D: apuuuuuuuu ~ :(

Kristen Stewart

I think Kristen Stewart's really pretty.

Look at her in the Twilight series. She looks awesome in every one of the movies. I haven't watched Eclipse yet but I'm sure she'll be looking pretty hot :) LOL I sound kinda lesbian-ish but I'm not. I'm just somehow kinda really attracted to her. She has a pretty face and I like her voice too! HAHA. I like how she looks in Twilight but then, I haven't seen her act in any other movies before. Well, I googled some of her pictures and there are some pictures of her with blonde hair, which in my opinion, is nice but doesn't really suit her. She looks much better being a brunette. Red, brown or black, she's pretty with those hair colors. Oh and did I mention that she has pretty eyes too? She's very fair as well and and she's got this stunning smile. *3 seconds of silence* Gosh, I realize that I've been talking so much about her and that makes me excited about going to watch Eclipse this weekend. Yeah, I'm somehow more excited to see her than the other two actors. But seriously, if I were to be a guy, I'd definitely have a crush on her. HAHAHAHA. Anyways, go take a look at the pictures below and tell me what you think.

Very pretty, huh? :P

watched Teen Cribs on MTV just now and i must say those kids are effing rich. today they showed a dude, k.j. and hes like 18 years old(my age). his housemansion is like omfg-ly huge. i wish i had a house like that. *drools* (who doesn't? silly wish) what's more, that humongous house is right beside the beach. they even have a little path that connects the house straight to the beach. the view is so pretty. there's even a mini jacuzzi, swimming pool, basketball and tennis courts, even a space beside the pool for a little football(not soccer) game. cool huh? then in the house, they have this media room to watch movies and a game room to play pool and poker. their bedrooms and toilets and living rooms are equally pleasing to my eyes. oh oh and i don't know how many stories is their house but they have a pretty elevator in the house! OMG OMG i so want an elevator in the house. they don't even need to take the stairs. that dude has a 15 year old brother and their parents look cool. and guess what the mum said at the end of the tour around their house? she was like "we want the best for our children. we want them to love our house, we want to give them good memories. their friends like to hang around at our place and im fine with it. at least they're hanging out with their friends at home, and it's better than having them facing the computer all day." i want a beautiful and comfortable home for my kids too in the future but i guess it's more than impossible. those are like multi-millionaires and they're living in America.

why are ang mohs so friggin rich?! i want to know whyyyyyyyy! D:

A Girl's Guide to Being Beautiful

There is one moment in each day when you are completely in control of your own destiny. It is the moment you first open your eyes in the morning, the instant first thought of the day skitters through your brain. That very first thought sets the mood for the rest of the day. In the wee hours of the morning, you can decide whether to embrace a life as an ally or to declare war on the world.

If you give in to your inner demons and give in to the latter, you can bid being beautiful farewell. Nobody looks good in a war. Beauty goes hand in hand with happiness, love and peace. Even if you are not completely happy with your physical appearance, if you can posses those last three traits, you will be beautiful.

Kayla Knopp

out out out.

it was a pretty tiring and hot day yesterday. went out the entire morning and afternoon. Regina came back few weeks ago but i only got to meet her yesterday. Siew was the driver of the day since i did not have any car to drive. went to alot of places, which started off at Siew's house and ended at Regina's house.

and i woke up a little too early in the morning. i woke up at 6am! D: the sun wasnt even entirely out yet. gosh but then i got to have breakfast with daddy and mummy. walao eh, so huai nian the times i used to eat breakfast with the two of them last time, especially on the days when i did not go to school. we had breakfast at the little stall at the roadside around krokop there. omg i love the kueh tiaw there. sooo yummy. daddy brought us there cause he knew i liked the place and i hardly ever have breakfast with them anymore lately. aww so nice of him hor? HAHA. anyways, about 5 minutes after we reached that place, a group of about 10 guys came. apuuuuuu these people, talk so loudly. one of them look okay lor but then his tattoos were ugly. LOL anyways, back to the story. so daddy dropped me at Siew's house at around 8.30am and we left to pick Regina and off to school. we went around the place looking for parking for so long. went round and round at least three rounds before finding a spot behind the shophouse, next to a dustbin =.= i mean like, of all the place, WHY BESIDE A DUSTBIN. @@ walao eh. if i was driving, i would've parked much nearer, or even better outside the school. who cares if im blocking anyone. just as long as its nearer and doesn't stink. oh and the competition was held at the basketball court. the place was friggin hot. AND I FORGOT TO APPLY SUNBLOCK! WTH how could i have forgotten such an important thing? ugh i dislike myself. and before the competition ended, i was already using half a pack of tissue so i went off to the Noodle House with Regina first to have a glass of drink. the others came right after the competition ended, which was like 20 minutes after we arrived at the kopitiam? 讲真，i kinda really miss this kopitiam. it brings back memories of the last few months of form 5. when we skipped assembly or during SPM, we would go over there to eat. and the Lemon Peng is sooo nice. i told the lady to add more lemon and it made the drink even tastier. wooooh ~ f.y.i. im not a fan of lemons, just lemon peng nia. XD but hor, the Teh C Peng wasn't that nice. :( should've ordered two glass of Lemon Peng instead D:

oh oh we went back to St Joe as well. and the first familiar teacher that i saw was Charlton Brian! still bald, still cute. OMG HAHAHAHA LOL we met some other teachers there too. but the weird thing was, when we went pass the classes, no teacher could be seen in any of the classes. O_O wonder where did the teachers go. it was around 11.30am when we finished our tour around the school so we went outside to try our luck and see if the car that sells lots of food and stuff at the opposite bus station was there and sad enough, it wasn't. so sad pls. T_T i was really hoping they'd be there cause i miss the lemon ice stick sooooo much. *sigh* no luck for us so we went to Tanjung and played for a while then head to Boulevard for lunch. after lunch we went back to Regina's place and hung around until about 4.20pm then we left.

and idk why i was sooo tired that i sleep very very early last night. then this morning i woke up with a hugeass headache. and until now(2.30pm) my head still hurts. gosh hope i'll recover very soon. i hate headaches :(