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I miss you, when something really good happens, you're the first one I want to share it with. Because I miss you when something is troubling me, you're the only one who would've understand. Because I miss you, when I laugh and cry, you're the only one who could make me laugh harder and make my tears disappear. I don't know where we went and why we grew apart, but you should know, I miss you.

assignments due :(

i haven't been blogging lately because i'm friggin busy. i have so much things due this friday yet i'm still so lazy. it's like the busier i am, the lazier and sleepier i become. why oh why must i be lazy? isn't there any cure for laziness? D: you know, i have like two assignments due this friday, one worksheet(something like quiz) on thursday which i haven't got time to study for at all and also two presentations next monday and tuesday. fyi, i'm unprepared for them too. gosh hope i can make it through until next week. and after all those are over, i finally settle down and prepare for my final exams in less than a month. :\

lol so anyways, i just wanted to quickly update my blog so it doesn't seem so dead. LOL so yeah, do click on THIS when you're free or feeling down or just feeling unloved. :) ♥

I OVERSLEPT. there. enough said.

and the bad thing is that i've wasted four hours facebook-ing and sleeping. two hours last night was wasted on facebook and two hours this morning on sleeping. you know, i set my alarm to 4am and i woke up only at 6am. i mean, i did hear my alarm ring, i even went to the toilet to pee and drank some water. i was awake but i wasn't feeling so well so i went back to sleep. who knew that the next time i opened my eyes, it was already two hours later. lol

anyways, i'll be going to campus again today. got lots of stuffs to do. and i'll be attending Foad's C++ II lecture :DD kinda really looking forward to it cause i seriously have no idea what programming is about. it's a one hour lecture anyways so hopefully it'll be fun. gonna sit with Siew and her classmates later.

oh and one thing, i had a weird dream last night. lots of things happened but the main thing is this, YOU CAME BACK. i was like wtheck, you really came back? but good thing was that we didn't meet each other face to face. i was like driving in the car and you were outside. but still, why did you appear in my dream? is it because i've been thinking too much? or like what people always say "the reason why you dream about a certain person is because they want to see you". but i don't think that's possible lor. *sigh

so yeah, i'm off to do my accounting project which i was supposed to wake up at 4am to do just now. OMG.

Just a Dream Cover/Remix (Nelly) - Joseph Vincent & Jason Chen

i'm seriously in love with this version of the song. ♥ and i never knew Joseph Vincent could be so hot and he has such a beautiful voice. even Jason's voice isn't that nice XD not to say that his voice is bad but Joseph sounds much better. and you know what? the whole time watching the video, it's like my eyes only focused on Joseph. only before and after the song did i notice Jason. and if you watch the end of the video, you can see the height difference between those two right? let me ask you this. do you think Jason is short or is Joseph tall? HAHA.


p/s: the original version is good too but this is so much better :P

msg.

last night when i was about to go to sleep, something popped up in my laptop screen. yeah, it was you. you suddenly appeared and talked to me. said you woke up in the middle of the night cause you're feeling hungry. we had an unexpected conversation. somehow the way you talked and everything last night, it was different from the other day but quite similar to the previous you. the way we talked, everything seemed to become more and more familiar. i was so focused in this conversation that i felt like it took me back to two years back. when everything was still cool between us. ahh, miss the days when we used to talk everyday. i would tell you all my problems and you would always find the ways to make me smile.

but seriously, i was still kinda shocked to see you find me on msn and actually talk to me. eventhough it was a kinda short conversation but just like before, you never failed to make me smile. i was literally smiling which led to laughing in front of the screen, i swore that if anyone saw me they'd think i was mentally retarded. LOL .and right before you went back to sleep, the things you wrote, thank you. although things are different now, but thanks for at least trying to sort of save our friendship. maybe its cause you saw my status, maybe its something else, its okay. as long as the effort is there, i'm glad.

early morning rant.

was supposed to be studying when all of a sudden, i started to think about the past. last night i was at my cousin's house and my parents and i and their maid were talking. the maid has been working for my aunt(and now my cousins) for about 25 years already and yesterday they were talking about the times when i was just a kid. they were talking about how i used to follow the maid everywhere just because i was bored. then my aunt would ask me to stop following and go take a nap but i wouldn't listen. lots of good memories. and then it all came rushing back. i miss the past so so much. i miss my aunt. i miss my uncle. i miss my cousin. i miss my grandma. i miss how things used to be so perfect before. ah shit. crying at 4am is not professional. :( :(

but seriously, i would do anything just to go back to 15 years ago. i'd lose a month of sleeping time, i'd stop using the phone and pc, i'd even stop eating just to go back to the past. life was so easy back then. and everyone was happy. little did i knew that things changed so suddenly. people leave, people change. now, it's not the same anymore. honestly, i do not like how my life is going right now. so much have changed. what's worse is that all i can do is just sit and watch. there isn't much that i can do to make things easier. for me and for everyone. and you know what? the other day i was talking with my mum when suddenly she said "i wish my sister was still around". she has no idea how much it hurt me to hear her say that because it was very obvious that life haven't been treating her the way she's supposed to be treated and i cannot do anything about it. i'm not capable of giving her the best. :( and in the next few years, i'm sure there are gonna be more changes and i'm not liking it at all. i've never been good with changes and i hate how things change so fast. sometimes, i blame myself for some of the changes. i haven't been good enough, i've disappointed many people, i procrastinate a lot, i say what i don't really mean, all those things. *sigh

in short, my life is an epic fail. and that sucks.

101010 daddy's birthday :)

a very happy birthday to the birthday "boy" in the picture above :)


yeaap, it's daddy's birthday and this year was much more special. why? just because it falls on the 10th of October 2010, which in short is 10/10/10 :D wanted to make this year a special one for him but he kept saying no need. just a simple dinner would do. my dad's always like that. for himself, anything simple would be okay but for us, he would want to do the best. and that's why i love him. since young, he has never been loved or care for and now that he's a grown up man, surprisingly he knows how to love and take care of me and my mum and sister. although there were times when he doesn't know when or how to show his love and care and use harsh words instead of soft ones, we could still feel it. and that's enough. he's the type that does things to show his affection, not through words. so anyways, since he didn't want to celebrate, we gave in and said okay. the night before his birthday we went to have dinner at a restaurant. at night, my sister made him cards and stuff. she wrote on pieces of paper and stuck it at their room door, the staircase and also stuck the card on the staircase door. it's like following the clues to find the treasure. lol then in the morning, my mum made two red eggs and we gave it to him while singing two versions of happy birthday at 10:10:10am. he was sleeping when we started singing. kinda surprised him i guess. then at 11am when my dad sent my sister to sunday school, mum and i hurriedly went out and i bought him a phone. he's been looking at phones for so long but never want to buy one for himself. besides, he just got me a phone the day before his birthday so i decided to do the same and give him one. after buying we went straight home. later before cell group, i took his sim card, put it in the phone and wrapped it up. we brought the present to cell group and my mum did ask one of the cell group members to make a birthday cake for my dad. he didn't know about it so when they sang him happy birthday, i took out the cake. he looked surprised as well. then after cutting the cake, i rushed to take out the present and gave it to him. and the interesting part is this, i took out my phone and called him. so the present started ringing and boy was he surprised to see a phone in a box instead of something else(i think he was expecting belt or shirt). so yeah, mission accomplished. each one of us managed to surprise him on his birthday and hopefully it'll be a memorable one for him. :)

so yeah, happy birthday! selamat hari jadi! 生日快乐！I LOVE YOU ♥

bleh.

busy busy busy. so much things to do in just one month. i hope i'll survive until the end of the semester. lol it's only foundation and i'm dying. wonder what'll happen when i go to degree. cannot imagine that at all.

anyways, i realize that the busier i am, or in other words, the more things that i have to do, the sleepier and lazier i become. i think it's because of my upcoming midterms and assignments that i'm starting to feel so sleepy. and i tend to sleep a whole lot. i just took a 45 minute nap this afternoon and now it's only 8pm and i'm already feeling so cranky. i need lots of sleep!

what's worse now is that i feel worse than a pig. even pigs, when they're hungry they are energetic. for me now, i have zero energy. i'm like not capable of doing anything else other than sleep. i feel miserable. :(

is there any thing or food that you can do or eat/drink to keep you awake? especially during the night? i need some help here. professional help that is. my condition is getting worse and worse. D:

oh and what good topics are there for me to present for my final individual presentation for ecs? idk what to talk about and for this presentation, it's supposed to somewhat be a persuasive or informational one. besides, t's gotta be done by doing research and stuff, not just by experience only. so yeah, i'm still blur, blank and i just feel like sleeping. aargh! am i not worse than a pig? abit abit also feel like sleeping already.

and wish me luck for my economics midterm next tuesday. i'm still kinda blur on the previous two chapters that we've learned in the past two weeks. the demand and supply thing. i mean, it looks easy but somehow something is wrong with my brain and it can't seem to interpret the graph correctly. like the curves and movements on the graph, i get headaches when i look at em. *sigh* i think i'll stop thinking about this and just go and get a nap now at 8.15pm.

meet my new love, Vivian Dawson

it has been a very unproductive Sunday morning. i'm procrastinating again and again. i do have my notes and stuff in front of me, but then my eyes, hands and mind are focusing more on the laptop and song playing. i've been re-tweeting quotes the whole morning as well. gosh i hope this ends soon. gonna concentrate later. after this blog post. i hope. LOL exam is tomorrow and i'm still kinda blur. ughh hopefully i'll get through with it asap.

oh yeah, one thing. i just found out that there is actually a model named VIVIAN DAWSON. i know i'm outdated but just shut up. i'm not really up to date with these things one okay? i only found out when a facebook friend of mine mentioned about him last night. and guess what? that Vivian dude is hot and tall. he's like 1.9m tall? a little taller than my dad please. OMG *drools*:D he was the winner of CLEO's 50 Most Eligible Bachelors 2009. and below are some pictures of him. btw, heard that he's Jolin Tsai's rumored boyfriend? they were spotted in Tokyo about a week ago. O_O if he is, then she sure is one lucky bitch. i'm jealous. HAHA. anyways, why am i so excited when i heard about this dude? cause well, my Plurk name was Vivian Dawson. and it was actually a combination of my name and Shane's. yeah, i'm in love with Shane so i decided to use his last name. so Vivian Lee + Shane Dawson = Vivian Dawson :P

isn't he so very drool-able? XD imagine if we dated. then when people ask "Hey Vivian, who's your boyfriend?" and i'll be like "His name is Vivian." and when we get married, we'll both be Vivian Dawson. :DD lmfao it'll be so cool. awwww; *think too much

busyyy.

suddenly had the urge to blog. so yeah, i'm gonna be real busy starting today? idk but the few weeks ahead are gonna be hectic. i've got midterms and presentations and assignments and projects. D: in just five weeks(starting next week), i have like nine things to do. which include midterms and stuff. it's the time of the semester again where i'll busy right until after the final exams. lol busy much. then again, i'd definitely still have time to go online. cause that is a must. wonder what my life will be without the internet. :\

anyways, i'm having my maths midterm on monday and i'm kinda "studying" right now. heh wish me luck yo. and btw, my iTunes is back to normal! i seriously don't know why i didn't even think or bother to go and check it. it was really troublesome to use Windows Media Player for the past few months. D: well, it was okay but i still prefer iTunes. :) well, i gotta go study now. will be posting again soon. when i have the urge like how i did five minutes ago :D