i feel so ~!@#$%^&* right now. i had this awesome dream but why? why must he be there? ive already gotten over him. i mean i never even liked him, right? i just, i dont know. im really tired of all this. i dont wanna play this game anymore.

i think, this is one of the side effects for liking a non-real person for too long. what i mean is, you see my darling Joe, ive been soooo in love with him for almost 3 years now. so whats my reward for loving him for so long? nothing. because 1) we do not know each other 2) he doesnt even know i exist 3) we're from two totally different worlds 4) hes a celebrity 5) im a nobody.

how sad is that? ive been in love with a famous person for so long until i dont know how it feels to like someone real. and i think its also because in the past 2 days, my mum have been mentioning about going to that place. and hearing the name of the place gives me butterflies. gosh, i dont know whats happening to me. i keep thinking about it. and i dont know whether to be happy or sad. aaaaah, the flashback is starting again!