dear you,

let me begin this post with I HATE YOU!
seriously i dont even know how and where to start.
but good thing im writing this post now.
if i were to write it 3 hours ago,
i would be cursing from the start until the end.
cause i really cant take it anymore.

so first of all, i am a human too.
do you know that?
i got feelings too you know?
i am just like you, can you not tell?
i know this is not entirely your fault
but cant you at least just be nice?
we dont see each other very often anyways.
you know, the last time we met was in October last year?
its already more than a year.
2 days ago was the first time i saw you this year.
call me crazy, but somehow i still count and remember the days we met.
i know its already been 4 long years
but somehow seeing you,
i still feel excited you know?
the other day seeing you smile at me,
eventhough itwasnt reallylike last time
but at least i was really glad.
but last night,
*sigh* what happened?
im disappointed.
i dont like you.
i hate you.
i dont ever wanna see you anymore.
i know you'll be much happier this way.
i'll even try to avoid you IF i do see you next time.
and you'll have one less person to stress about.

but just to let you know,
i cried again.
this morning,
just thinking about you makes me cry.
i thought that i was strong enough.
i thought that i wouldnt simply cry anymore
but i was wrong, very very wrong.
我还在为你流泪。。。