memories

was browsing through some of my documents in the comp and i came across this "document" which i wrote like three years ago? it was back in form one bah. i'll post up some of the cacat-ed poems that ive written. come to think of it, i really was lovesick back then. ahhh, those were the times. i remembered clearly when we first talked. the time, date and place of our conversation. and also the first time we msged. and everytime you would shoot me with yr killer smile. i even still remember some of the dates that has kaitan with you. like example, the last time we ever talked, it was outside my house around 9.30+pm on 20th February 2006. since then, its been 868 days since we last talked. and its been 24 days since i last saw you[as according to today, 7th July 2008]. OMG i think i was really overreacting. HAHA. well, at least im over it now. no more crazy days of me counting days and this and that anymore. lols


to have a heart in one piece instead of a thousand
hoping that one day it will be cold as stone
and harder than anything in this world
to prevent it from melting everytime i see you
i have been waiting so long for the wounds to heal
and the scars to disappear
so that i wouldn’t have to hurt anymore
as the days go by i feel myself dying slowly inside
like a rose withered and torn
it hurts me so bad
all the tears ive cried for you
wishing that someday you’ll be mine
the desires since the day we became friends
my dreams all crushed into nothing at all
when i thought these memories could fade away
i thought that by forgetting everything
things would be okay
and that i would be stronger than i ever have been
but i was wrong; so wrong
i feel so broken up inside
with the shattered thoughts crumpled up in my mind
it seems so hard for me to let go

[ the poem above, its the very first poem ive written. and it was like in 2005 ]

words from a brokenhearted
i cant seem to see
the emptiness inside
it keeps me from me
the happily ever after
not a story to waste
like in the fairytale
life is this place
the moment i saw you
was the moment i learnt to cry
it taught me so much
that even love is worth a try
if only i could turn back time
just to change everything
i’d start all over
right from the very beginning

the thoughts of you
the memories faded away
it all came back in a sudden
i should have known
you’d still be hurting me
the moments are gone
my feeling’s still here
holding on to the times we’ve had
it isnt much of a memory to remember
though its still clear in my mind
the autumn breeze is blowing
the leaves fall from the tree
the memories are soon falling
and blown away from me

for once when i think i could actually forget about you
i thought that i could really do it
i did try to move on
but i failed so badly
i can’t get you out of my head
it seems that you’re always on my mind
and nothing can change the fact that you’re the one i really miss
but looking back now
its all just for laughs
the times i had with u
will only be memories to keep
and would it be okay
if we stay as friends
im not asking much from you
its all i ever wanted
since the day u broke my heart


and these are some of the poems ive written. looking back at, it seems kinda childish how i used to write these things. but it aint bad either. reading them brings back the memories, those bitter sweet memories.




[ AHVIAN] ♥♥